哪种男人才是当丈夫的料?

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It happened 4 years back while I was working with Philips, India.

这个故事发生在4年前，当时我在印度飞利浦公司工作。

There was this young chap, Rohan, 25 something, who recently got married. On his first day at the office after his marriage vacation, he got some sweets to share with all of us. We are some 120 people on the floor. Once we received the email “Wedding sweets at my desk. Please help yourself.”, all of us rushed to his desk.

有个叫Rohan的年轻人，25岁左右，最近结了婚。他在休完婚假上班的第一天就买了一些糖果分给大家一起吃。我们这一层大概有120人，我们收到了他的电子邮件，上面写着“我桌上有喜糖，大家随便吃“。我们都冲到了他的办公桌前。

The crowd thickened at his desk and I had to wait for my turn while listening to the people congratulating him. All women were like ‘Rohan! Congratulations.’,’Rohan! All the best’...blah blah..but I saw most men laughing at his plight, pitying his future, wishing him all the best in faint voices and some calling it a heinous act. They kept on saying, “ Rohan! You are doomed

他的办公桌前挤满了人，我一边听着人们祝贺他，一边排队等候。所有的女人都说“Rohan，祝贺你”“祝福Rohan” 等等，但我看到大多数男人却取笑他的处境，同情他的未来，低声祝福他一切顺利，甚至有人说这是可耻的。他们不停地说:“Rohan，你完蛋了“。”

man! “,”You got married at such a young age. Do you understand how difficult it is to deal with a woman? She will not let you party anymore, she will make you do all menial work at home, she will control your every move.”,”Are you even in your right senses when you decided to get married?” Blah blah blah... Among such men are directors, division heads, program managers, people managers and leads. By now this poor lad Rohan is already depressed.

男人都这么说：“你这么年轻就结婚了，你知道和女人打交道有多难吗?她不会再让你参加派对了，她会让你在家里做所有的家务，她会控制你的一举一动”“你决定结婚的时候到底有没有理智?”……这些人包括董事、部门主管、项目经理、人事经理和领导。现在可怜的Rohan已经变得很沮丧。

Then comes the hero Shashank. He recently joined our group. He holds a Masters degree from Rutgers University, Ph.D. and Post-Doctoral from Johns Hopkins University. He walks to him with a bright smile, gives him a friendly and firm handshake and says all the best in a happy tone. He then says “Welcome brother to the world of everlasting happiness and togetherness!” All of us were baffled.

紧接着英雄Shashank来了，他最近加入了我们的小组。他拥有罗格斯大学硕士学位，还是约翰霍普金斯大学的博士和博士后。他带着灿烂的微笑走向Rohan，跟他友好地握手，用愉快的语气祝他一切都好，然后说:“欢迎兄弟来到永远幸福、亲密无间的世界!”我们都很困惑。

Rohan wanted to know why is Shashank differing from the opinions of other men there. He asked, “Mr.Shashank, why do you say so?”

Rohan想知道为什么Shashank和其他男人的观点不同。他问道:“为什么这么说?”

Shashank explains, “Rohan! You know I did my Master’s, later my Ph.D. and post-doc for nearly 8 years in the US. I always felt very lonely. I always wanted a person with whom I can share my happiness, sadness, and my frustrations. Whom I can trust and with whom I can be my most vulnerable self. Not that I do not have friends. I have a good amount of friends but there are always limitations to any relationship. My life has totally changed after I got married, after two of us became three and then four. I put myself out there when I am with her. That helped me expand my horizons and explore the uncharted lands. Marriage is about togetherness and it is a teamwork. Anyway, you married the love of your life and there is nothing to worry about. You guys know what to expect from each other. I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart. Wishing you good luck!”

Shashank解释说,“我在美国读了将近8年的硕士、博士和博士后，总是感到很孤独。我一直想找一个人，与她分享我的快乐、悲伤和挫折。一个我可以信任的人，和她在一起我可以成为最脆弱的自己。倒不是说我没有朋友，我有很多朋友，但任何关系都有限制。结婚后，我的生活完全改变了，我们从两个人变成了三个人，然后变成了四个。和她在一起的时候，我就会倾尽全力。这帮助我拓展了视野，探索了未知的领域。婚姻是一种团结，是一种团队合作。总之，你娶了一生的挚爱就没什么好担心的。你们知道该期待对方什么。我打心眼里祝贺你，祝你好运!”

There was silence around and a smile on Rohan’s face. Then I knew what kind of men make good husbands, the ones who know the importance of marriage!

周围一片寂静，Rohan的脸上挂着微笑。于是我知道了什么样的男人才能成为好丈夫，那些懂得婚姻重要性的男人!

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和解

也许每个人都会有一段别人安慰不了的人生，关于那些你忘不掉的伤害，你可以选择不原谅，但我希望你一定要跟自己和解，然后找到你最初那份...